Lisa Speaks! Motherhood Before and After Losing 166 Pounds

Lisa Harris of Clementon, NJ, was a self-proclaimed “yo-yo” dieter her whole life. Moved by her father’s dying request to get healthy, Harris had gastric bypass surgery at Penn Medicine with Alan Schuricht, MD, FACS.

Springtime is a reminder of new beginnings. Dormant trees wake up, migrating birds return, and we begin celebrating important things, such as honoring special women on Mother’s Day.

In August, 2010, shortly after my father passed away, I took my two teenagers on an impromptu vacation to an amusement park about three hours away. I didn’t realize the physical toll it would take on me. I made sure that we left the hotel extra early each morning so we could get to the park well before it opened. My reason was simple: Get the best parking spot possible so I didn’t have to walk so far.

Unfortunately, the walking inside the park was worse than any parking lot. At least the parking lots were flat. In the park I had to deal with hills and steps. Day one was exhausting. By day two, I’d pulled my dad’s cane out of my car and was using that for assistance. I watched as my kids rode roller coasters and other thrill rides. Many of the rides had a “test seat” near the entrance, so people of questionable size could try before they waited in the long lines. I tried one seat with dismal results, and decided that I would try no others. I could feel people staring at me.

Lisa, 3 weeks post-op.

My obesity was embarrassing to me, and though they never said it, I’m sure it was embarrassing to my children. I purposely avoided activities at their schools so their friends wouldn’t see me. As a mother who wanted to be very involved in her children’s lives, my self-imposed exile hurt all of us in one way or another.

Less than nine months later, I was on an operating table in Pennsylvania Hospital, in the skilled hands of Dr. Alan Schuricht. My gastric bypass was done a couple weeks before Mother’s Day in 2011. I was three weeks post-op when my daughter attended her senior prom. When we took pictures before the prom, I half hid behind her. Less than two years later, I was able to fit into her prom gown!

Lisa - in her daughter's dress!

Since then, I’ve adopted a new, healthier lifestyle. Just last weekend, I accompanied my son’s high school percussion team on a trip to Wildwood, NJ. On Saturday morning, I decided to go to a local convenience store to get fruit for my breakfast. My smart phone told me it was .4 miles from the motel. Drive or walk? No brainer! I walked it. My car remained parked from the time I arrived in Wildwood until the trip was over. I walked everywhere I needed to go.

I recently passed the two-year mark from my surgery. Since then, I’ve lost 166 lbs. I look back on years past and sometimes it saddens me, realizing how much of my kids’ childhoods that I purposely missed. Now that I’ve entered a new phase of my life, I’m determined to never again let my weight be an issue. I’m finally able to keep up with my kids. Sometimes they can’t keep up with me! I’m trying to influence them to lead healthier lives too, with less processed foods and a LOT less fast food, and more fruit and vegetables. Together, we’re a healthier, more active family.

My new life means that I’ll be around for many more Mother’s Days. Every weight-related health issue I had is now gone. Best of all, I’m not afraid to be out in public anymore!

Lose Weight at Penn Medicine

When Lisa decided to gain her health for good, she took the first step by joining an information session about weight-loss surgery at Penn.

You, too, can learn about medical weight loss in Philadelphia, and the Penn Bariatric and Metabolic Surgery Program at a free information session about weight-loss surgery in Philadelphia.

There, you will hear about your weight-loss surgery options, and how Penn can help you lose weight and get healthy for good.

Register for a free information session today.

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Lisa Speaks: Dating After a Major Weight Loss

Lisa Harris of Clementon, NJ, was a self-proclaimed “yo-yo” dieter her whole life. Moved by her father’s dying request to get healthy, Harris had gastric bypass surgery at Penn Medicine with Alan Schuricht, MD, FACS. In this part two of her story, Lisa discusses what happened when she stopped being so self conscious, and started opening her mind the possibility of a relationship. Read the first part to Lisa's story here.

I started communicating with one man early on and considered him a good friend. He didn’t seem to be the “type” I was always interested in. But we had a shared love of animals, football and hockey so emails and text messages were based around that. Then one day I posted a picture of the shoes I wore to work that day – sequined sky-high pumps that are black with red skulls on them. Liam commented on the picture, asking what they were connected to. So I texted him a full-length picture of myself. That in itself took a great deal of courage, and I figured I’d never hear from him again. Wrong… we texted the rest of the day, he ended up calling me at 11 pm and we were on the phone until 3 am, with a date lined up for the following night. I was as giddy as a teenager!

I’d arranged to meet Liam at a diner. We had coffee and ordered appetizers. Conversation flowed freely, and sometime during that first meeting, something clicked. Somehow I just knew… two days later was our second date, and we’ve been in an exclusive relationship since. I told Liam about my surgery on that second date. Mostly because he’d asked to link to me on Facebook, and I didn’t want him to see my progress pictures without having the story behind them first. His reaction surprised me. At first, he said “OK, so?”as if it wasn’t a big deal to him.

Turns out, it’s not.

Now that he understands what I’ve done to reclaim my life, he tells me all the time how proud he is that I’ve done this. He’s very supportive. Of course, the first time he said I had a “smokin’ hot body” (his words, NOT mine!) I had to keep from laughing. My obese brain STILL sees 357 pounds in the mirror at times.

I’ve met his family, and he has met my teenagers. His mother commented that I eat like a little bird. What she didn’t know is that this little bird used to eat like a vulture! I called my mother to tell her about my new boyfriend, and the only way I could think of to describe Liam and my new found love is that he is nothing I ever thought I wanted, but everything I ever needed. I’ve learned many things recently. The most important of all is that I am worthy of a full, wonderful relationship where I am loved and respected. And the feeling is VERY mutual.

Some of the other things I’ve learned while dating as a post-op patient:

1. If you’re using an online dating service, arrange to meet at a coffee shop, diner, or restaurant. Be safe and don’t give out your home address or any other personal information until you know and trust the other person.
2. You don’t have to tell everyone about your surgery. When the time is right, you’ll know.
3. It’s OK to go to restaurants. “I’m really not hungry tonight” can go a long way. Order off the appetizer menu, or get a small chef salad.
4. Watch out for alcohol. Don’t drink if you’re out, especially if you’re driving somewhere. Alcohol hits the bloodstream of a gastric bypass patient faster than “normal” people.
5. Discuss your surgery and any side effects when you’re comfortable. For me, the biggest issue is the amount of loose skin I have. If your partner loves you, the skin isn’t going to bother them.
6. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with others.
7. In order to love someone else, it’s important to love yourself. Take some time for yourself, get a pedicure, manicure, new hairstyle, etc… once you feel good about how you look and are comfortable, dating will be much easier.

Don’t be afraid to take a chance. The best things in life happen when we least expect them. 

Lose Weight at Penn Medicine

Lisa began her 150+ pound weight-loss journey by going to a free Penn Medicine weight-loss information session, and you can too.

Learn about medical weight loss in Philadelphia, and the Penn Bariatric and Metabolic Surgery Program at a free information session about weight-loss surgery in Philadelphia.

There, you will hear about your weight-loss surgery options, and how Penn can help you lose weight and get healthy for good.

Register for a free information session today.

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Lisa Speaks: Dating Before and After Weight Loss

Lisa Harris of Clementon, NJ, was a self-proclaimed “yo-yo” dieter her whole life. Moved by her father’s dying request to get healthy, Harris had gastric bypass surgery at Penn Medicine with Alan Schuricht, MD, FACS. This article is the first of two installments that discuss Lisa’s struggles with weight and self esteem, and how those impacted her relationships.

This is the first installment of a two-part blog…. I have so much to say on dating, relationships, and self-worth that a single entry wasn’t enough!

One thing I know for sure: Obese people are self-conscious. Sometimes, that awareness of appearance can cause a lot of difficulty in a person’s life. They can become reclusive, and lose interest in outside activities for fear of being seen, whispered about and even ridiculed. I know, I used to be there.

I lived a life of exile, hiding inside my house, hiding behind other people in pictures, hiding my feelings of self-loathing, and just plain hiding. I know I was in a pattern of self-destructive behavior. The worst part of all was loneliness.

Before I turned 30, I was divorced with two young children. I spent years following my divorce building a career to a point where I could financially support my family on my own, and I was able to purchase my own home. As the years progressed after that, I took comfort in food more often and ignored my rising weight. It was at the age of 43, with my father’s dying wish for me to be healthy -- and his subsequent death -- that finally gave me the motivation to take back control of my life. I didn’t realize that there was still something missing.

I’ve never been one to frequent the bar scene, and with the rise of Internet dating websites, I registered for several of them. I enjoyed the anonymity, and I particularly liked that I could hide my appearance. Sure, my profiles had a picture, but it was a headshot, carefully staged to conceal how heavy I really was. For sure nobody would want to date me the way I looked!

I’m guilty of compensating for this by entering into relationships for the wrong reasons and taking the attitude of “I’m lucky he’ll have me.”

After a particularly bad, and thankfully short-lived, relationship ended in 2009, I recognized how I was damaging myself and further retreated into my own darkness.

Flash forward to 2012… Even after losing a substantial amount of weight, I still struggled with self-esteem issues. My 19-year-old daughter encouraged me to join a social networking site she’d been using. “To make new friends,” she said. I thought, “OK. I can always use people to talk to.” I signed up, cautiously optimistic. I had an updated picture that was used as my main profile shot. I started adding friends, commenting on statuses and pictures, and soon had amassed a small network that began building my confidence.

To my surprise, there were a few men out there that wanted to meet me in person. I was careful in selecting who I would meet. I went out on a couple dates and it dawned on me that the only one disappointed in my appearance was me. It’s human nature to be your own worst critic. I chose to not discuss my surgery with those I dated initially. It’s a delicate subject to broach and when meeting new people, I’ve found that “Hi, I used to weigh 357 lbs!” is NOT a good opening line. While I dated a few times, no one really made that much of an impression to go beyond a couple meetings.

Next time: You’ll never believe what happened! 

How do YOU feel about relationships and dating? Do you think your weight affects your views?

Lose Weight at Penn Medicine

Penn can help you lose weight.

Learn about medical weight loss in Philadelphia, and the Penn Bariatric and Metabolic Surgery Program at a free information session about weight-loss surgery in Philadelphia.

There, you will hear about your weight-loss surgery options, and how Penn can help you lose weight and get healthy for good.

Register for a free information session today.

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Trading in a Food Addiction for New Addiction

Lisa Harris of Clementon, NJ, was a self-proclaimed “yo-yo” dieter her whole life. Moved by her father’s dying request to get healthy, Harris had gastric bypass surgery at Penn Medicine with Alan Shuricht, MD, FACS.

There are a few side effects to weight-loss surgery. Fortunately, I’ve been lucky and haven’t had a single medical issue due to my surgery.

But I have had a few, non-medical side effects. Here are some of my side-effects from weight-loss surgery.

Brrr! Feeling Cold After Weight-loss Surgery

One major problem that I deal with nearly every day is simple. I’m COLD.

I no longer have 163 lbs of warm, insulating fat surrounding my bones. Now, if I’d taken 5 or 10 years to lose that weight, my brain might have been able to keep up. But after dropping this amount of weight in just over a year, the neurons are misfiring all over the place. My “normal” body temperature is now 96.7 degrees. I sit outside in the summertime wearing long sleeve shirts. Sweaters are year-round attire for me in my office. Air conditioning in the summer is like putting me in a meat locker, and I have to go outside to thaw out. My employer forbids space heaters, but I found a way around that rule: I have a heating pad. Nobody ever says anything to a woman with a heating pad in her lap!

My Shoe Addiction

My brain is broken in another sense as well. An earlier blog post mentioned transfer addiction. Transfer addiction is when you trade one addiction (food) for another.

While I haven’t turned to drugs or alcohol, my habit can be just as expensive. It’s shoes. I’m drawn to shoe stores and shopping for the latest and greatest style has become my new pastime. I have always had an addictive personality. I am a former smoker having started at age 17. I quit cold turkey in 2006, after a beloved aunt was diagnosed with lung cancer. I am formerly morbidly obese, and I kind of quit food too in a way…. This after my dad’s dying wish for me to lose weight.

But nobody ever died from shoe shopping, right?

Does running to the clearance rack count as cardio? Absolutely! You should see my collection. My closet has spilled into my bedroom, complete with racks to hold shoe boxes.

I may make light of transfer addiction, but for some of us, it can come at a steep price. Know your limits, and know your boundaries. If you feel the need to turn to drugs or alcohol, don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are plenty of qualified therapists and counselors available to guide us to the healthiest life imaginable.

The Best Side Effect from Weight-loss Surgery

Since my surgery in 2011, I’ve lost 163 pounds. I feel healthy. I sleep better, am no longer borderline diabetic, and have gone off all of my blood pressure medications.

I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been. And I have Dr. Schuricht and Penn Medicine to thank for that!

Lose Weight at Penn Medicine

Penn can help you lose weight.

Learn about medical weight loss in Philadelphia, and the Penn Bariatric and Metabolic Surgery Program at a free information session about weight-loss surgery in Philadelphia.

There, you will hear about your weight-loss surgery options, and how Penn can help you lose weight and get healthy for good.

Register for a free information session today.

If you are concerned about addiction, Penn can help. Learn more about addiction treatment at Penn.

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Let Lisa's Weight-loss Journey Inspire You

Lisa Harris is a mom of two, who had gastric bypass surgery at Penn in Philadelphia. Lisa will be contributing to the Penn Weight Loss blog, and in this, her first installment, she tells us about the salon service that changed her life. Learn more about Lisa's weight-loss journey here.

I'm really excited about becoming a featured blogger for the Penn Medicine Weight-loss Blog. You may have read my weight-loss story when it was published in July.

I'm a 45-year- old single mother who works full time as a software administrator. I live in Southern New Jersey with my two children who are 19 and 17. I’m also an avid dog lover.

I have been overweight my entire life. When I entered adulthood, things really got out of control. I was a size 20 when I graduated high school. I was in a 22 at age 22. By the time I was 40, my weight had ballooned to over 330 lbs and I was miserable in a size 28.

Like many people who are obese, I suffered from a myriad of health problems and lifestyle restrictions. I was in constant pain, both physically and emotionally. Back damage from a car accident was made worse by my obesity. My ankles would swell up if I walked too much. I was plagued by cellulitis in my leg, a condition that required strong antibiotics and periodic hospitalization to treat. A trip to an amusement park had me using a cane to get around, and watching while my kids rode the roller coasters. At 43, my quality of life was diminishing quickly.

The Manicure That Changed My Life

I thought about bariatric surgery before, but never pursued it. I had a preconceived notion that it would be expensive, painful, and I'd have a long recovery period. Two months after my father passed away, a chance meeting -- in a nail salon, of all places -- changed my life forever. There I met a woman who told me about her own bariatric surgery at Penn Medicine. She told me about the Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery Program there. She'd gone from a size 22 to a size 4 and had maintained a healthy weight for the past four years. I went home and started researching. I wish I had her name, so I could properly thank her. She saved my life!

Within weeks, I was registered at Penn Medicine and had two seats reserved at an information session in Cherry Hill. I brought my mother with me. She was initially opposed to the surgery and I needed her to learn about the safety and reputation of the doctors at Penn. I chose to work with Dr. Alan Schuricht and scheduled my first appointment with him at the end of the information session. After going through all the pre-op requirements, I had gastric bypass surgery on May 2, 2011. Since then, I've lost a total of 158 lbs. I have gone from wearing size 28 pants that I struggled to button to a size 12. Sometimes it still amazes me.

Let My Weight-loss Journey Inspire You

My blog will be a mix of the old and the new -- what life was like before surgery and how I reclaimed my life and turned everything around. The experts at Penn know the surgery. I've LIVED it. I no longer struggle with my daily life. My entire outlook has changed. I hope to inspire others to make positive changes in their lives. In the months leading up to my surgery and the year after, I've amassed many tips, tricks and experiences that have helped make my journey easier. I'll share all that, and more.

If there's anything you'd like me to write about, feel free to leave a message in the comments.

I hope you enjoy my posts to follow in the coming months!

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